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Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Friday, July 3, 2015
Several years ago I used to date a man who I was introduced to by one of my sisters and her husband. I will call him Tommy (not his real name). They all went to school with him and felt that they knew him very well. He was described to me as a "good guy who is doing something with his life and staying out of trouble". My family decided to introduce us to one another while we were all out at the movies one weekend. He did seem to be a really smart, well-spoken, nice guy with a good personality. He was a few years younger than me, Black American, tall and in good shape. He also had handsome features, with a dimpled smile, slanted eyes and dark smooth chocolate skin.
We went out on several dates and hit it off very well. Tommy was about 23 years old and I was 27 at the time. Several weeks into the romantic courtship, he began to show some of his true colors. I am not trying to paint myself as a perfect woman, without fault or flaw. But, there were a few things that I noticed about him that I did not like. He was a really heavy cigarette smoker and he always arrived at my apartment with a 40 oz. bottle of beer. I think these were some habits that he picked up during his time spent in the marines. They were a big deal for me because I don't smoke or do drugs. I rarely drink alcoholic beverages.
I was annoyed at the fact that Tommy would always find a way to talk to me about his ex-wife. Apparently she did a lot of dirt to this young man and he never fully recuperated from it. I think that everyone has issues. If you are living on this Earth you have experienced some type of trial or tribulation or have gone though some degree of trauma at least a few times in your life. No matter how sheltered a person is, one can never live their entire life without experiencing some sort or pain, stress or sorrow. I think we each have our own coping mechanisms and ways of reacting to trauma and stress.
Well, about two months into the courtship, he told me that his wife had cheated on him while he was away in Europe serving in the marines. On top of that, she had completely emptied out this poor man’s bank accounts. When he returned, he discovered that almost $100,000 dollars of the money that he earned was gone. She was not paying their bills as she should have been.
Somehow, Tommy was under the impression that he could sue his wife to recoup the money that she spent without his knowledge. He was sorely disappointed after his divorce attorney informed him that it was not possible for spouses to sue one another. In marriage, what’s his is hers and what's hers is his, basically. That’s why it's important to carefully select the person that you choose as a life partner. If you can’t trust that person literally with your life and financial future, then it is not a wise idea to get married to them.
So, I invited him over to my apartment for one weekend and he showed up again with a forty of Olde English in a brown bag. I could tell that Tommy had too much to drink because his speech was a little bit slurred and he was temperamental from the moment he walked in the door. He started taking shots at me.
I had cooked some dinner, then we ate and watched TV. All of a sudden he started talking about the people on his job and started ranting about women. Then, he made the comment that “All women are bitches and whores!” When, he saw the shock on my face, he caught himself and recanted and saying, “Except for you, my mother and my sister”. There was no way for him to unsay what he said.
I told him that he was not going to disrespect me and that he had to get the hell out. He pleaded with me to stay but I wasn’t having it. Thinking about it now, I sort of felt bad because the guy was not in any condition to go out there and drive. But, at that moment I was in my feelings and I didn't want him there. He called me a few hours later that evening and apologized but it was too late. I had lost respect for and interest in him.
A few weeks after that incident, my brother-in-law called asking me how things were going between me and Tommy. He was curious because Tommy called him after our fight and told him what happened. Tommy was crying, saying that he thinks he fucked up. I said, "Yeah, he’s right. He did fuck up!" My brother-in-law basically called fishing for information to pass on to Tommy (they were homies). I cut straight to the chase and told him that I wasn't interested in reconciling with Tommy. I didn’t hear from Tommy for several weeks after that and it appeared that he had moved on.
Tommy is not a bad person by any stretch. He has a lot going for him but, I think that Tommy has some emotional issues and unfinished business that he needs to work on. I think that he married too young and he chose the wrong person. And forming a legal and emotional bond with a toxic person, can lead to a lifetime of heartache, ruin and despair.
He was still holding onto what his wife did to him and probably some other stuff that he never told me about. I also think that Tommy leans too much on the drink when he is stressed out and sad. It’s something that he needs to work on or he will just continue to repeat the same mistakes and make his future girlfriends pay for his issues. Since he couldn’t make his ex-wife pay, he is probably making everyone else pay on a subconscious level.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
They have so much hostility towards White folks that they said that they don’t want their children to ever work for them. They experienced a lot of blatant racism and discrimination back in their youth. So, they didn't want their kids to ever go to White people looking for anything. You know, I don’t condone or agree with their bigoted beliefs but I certainly understand why they don’t like White people.
I believe that their adult children worked for their businesses, here and there. But, from what I know, none of the adult children developed the ability and skills to run their own sucessful business.
The young man who was married to my relative, did not work for most their marriage. He used that not wanting to work for the White man as a pretext for his laziness. The couple had children and most of the financial support for the children came from his parents and his wife. Therefore, the young man is spoiled and doesn’t work because he knows that his family will support him, no matter what. As I mentioned before, his family has a little financial security. Maybe, he’s counting on an inheritance after his parents eventually pass on. Who knows?
He is still responsible to stand up and be a father to his children. My relative and the young man are divorced now and he can't even pay adequate child support. I feel that his parents coddled and spoiled him. He never really learned what it is to be a responsible adult. They poisoned his mind and they are at fault for making this man turn out to be sorry. Now, his children are going to suffer the consequences.
Mostly when I hear Black people say that they don’t want to work for the White Man, I think that they are full of shit. Now, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with a person striving for financial indepedence and owning their own business. In my experience, the people that I hear say this are using it as a cop-out or pretext for not wanting to work at all. Some of the men who use this rhetoric would rather rob, kill and sell drugs to people in the Black community than to get a job.
They say that they don’t want to work for the White man, but I find their words ironic and incongruous with their actions. It would follow logically that you’d want to do something to protect and build your own Black community, rather than destroy it!
The ideal of not wanting to work for the White man is a little bit foolish because for one, White people created this economic system and government. White people and Asians own most of the wealth in the world. In order to come up, most people (no matter what race or creed they are) will need to at least learn how to transact business with White people. Even if you don't ever work directly for them, you still need to learn how to work your way around the system of capitalism and understand how laws are applied in the system of money and wealth.
Secondly, the minute that you spend money (created by White men) you are already working for the White man without knowing it. If you use a smartphone, use banking services, shop at a grocery store, buy a car, or a home, then you’re working for "the man". And, when you spend your money, often times you'll pay a tax to the government. It’s all built into the system and set up that way by design.
I know that it is hard to work for people that you don't like or for people who don't like you. However, a better way to think is for people to decide that they don’t want to work for anyone else, regardless of their race or ethnic background. If you need to work for someone else until you can work for yourself, I see nothing wrong with that. Take what you can get until you get what you want. I just think it is stupid to say that you don't want to work for a certain group but not do anything to improve, educate or empower yourself.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
He tried to holler at her co-workers. Marinade on that for a few seconds. Where they do that at? If you're going to be a man trick, then at least be a smart trick and mess with someone from out of town or someone that your partner doesn't know. It shows that he doesn't hold women in high regard. Therefore, Sharon kicked Pierre’s ass to the curb- with the quickness.
If your significant other isn’t inviting you over to their place then, he or she is most likely cheating or hiding something. To top if off, Sharon later found out that Pierre was living with his baby mama. Hmmm... I could have told her that a long time ago. I peep game.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
My take on it is that I don't really care that much about this story. For one, the NAACP was started by White people. I suspect that the organization was started partly to keep tabs on Black people and keep them pacified. So, it is not that much of a shocker that a White person is the head of the NAACP.
Secondly, I don't understand why people are so outraged and offended by this woman claiming Black. Yeah, she is weird for passing herself off as a Black person but from all indications she did assimilate Black culture. She attended an HBCU and was married to a Black man for some time. She worked to protect the rights of Black people as an activist. So, it doesn't seem that there was any mockery and malintentions on her part (But, if I am wrong in this assumption then I stand corrected).
Thirdly, this concept of "tranracialism" is nothing new to me. I see it a lot in living in the South. I see White men and women who claim Black culture ALOT. They speak so-called Black English Vernacular and "Ebonics" perfectly. Some of the White women wear braids and cornrows and I have even seen White people with dreadlocked hair and beards.
When I was a teenager, I met a blonde-haired blue-eyed, White boy who claimed that he was Black. This dude dressed like the typical urban Black teenaged boy at that time and "sounded Black". He would argue and fight with anyone who challenged his Blackness. He was raised by Black people and no one could tell this dude that he was not Black. I saw him several years, ago when I worked at a grocery store. He has a whole row of gold teeth in his mouth. He told me that he had spent about 5 years in prison for shooting a man who owed him thousands of dollars. He also said that he was Muslim and legally changed his name to Akheem. He must have converted to the Nation of Islam religion while in prison. I thought that he was joking but he showed me his drivers license to confirm it.
I know a White man who told me that he only dates and marries Black women. He said that he was not attracted to White women at all. And, he was not lying, either. I had proof that he was telling the truth. He was married twice to Black women. I told him that he was off psychologically and he laughed at me. It's one thing to be attracted to people from other cultures and races, but it is an anomaly to dislike your own people.
Am I saying that Rachel Dolezal doesn't like her own race? No. I don't know what motivates her. I am not a psychiatrist. I am saying that human beings have very complex thought processes.
When it comes to Ms. Dolezal living her life claiming to Black, I don't care that much about it. There is a question of whether she could truly know what it is like to experience life as a Black American woman. She has light skin so she has the benefits of White privilege.
But, nobody is outraged when Black women go and have Asian Remy weave sewn into their hair and wear green contact lenses.
There are more pressing issues in this country to deal with. I don't think that Rachel Dolezal should be absolved of wrong doing if she lied on job applications or falsified documents, and if there was other misconduct. We can't know for certain whether she is lying about who she is without DNA tests. If she did lie, then that speaks volumes about her integrity. That's a different issue.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
From my experience, when people speak a lot of racial rhetoric about the White man (in the context of money and business), I have usually observed two things about them:
a) They are lazy and don’t want to work.
b) They don’t do anything positive to uplift themselves or the Black community.
Some of them sell drugs to their own community so that they don’t have to work of White people.
I really think that a lot of these people are mentally enslaved and don’t know how to get out of their own way. Now, take for instance one of my great-uncles. He served many years in prison when he was a young man. He was a little bit misguided and influenced by the wrong people. He says that he was sent to prison for crimes that he did not commit- basically being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
After he got out of prison, I met him for the first time at about age 10 or 11. At first I thought that he was a really positive person, because I didn’t know any better. He used to encourage me to get an education and emphasized the importance of knowing yourself as a person of the African Diaspora. I remember him pointing out a stack of books to read through that had to do with Pan-Africanism and Black history. His hair was naturally curly and soft and he eventually allowed it to grow out and lock. He went around claiming to be a Rastafarian.
Well, after a few years, his true colors began to show. He started using racial epithets against Whites and professing how much he didn’t like the White man and blamed them for his misfortune and underachievement in life. He grew up in the segregated South in the Jim Crow era and knows what it is like to be mistreated and discriminated against by White people. So, I have a little understanding for why he was bigoted.
For years that he was going around saying that he can’t stand the White man and that he didn’t want to be associated with them in any way. The funny thing is that he wasn’t doing much to put himself in a position to where he wouldn’t have to work for the White male dominated establishment. If he were so tired of working for the White man, why didn’t he put his focus, passion and energy into building something for himself and his family? Why was he using the illegal drugs that were allowed into the country by the government?
My uncle was physically and verbally abusive to his wife, a Black woman. He was heavily addicted to drugs and continued to engage in illegal activities. My uncle is very artistic and has a knack for creating African themed woodwork. So, it's not like he didn't have any special talents or skills. He did landscaping work on the side but still had to get a job working for the White man to pay his bills. Basically, a lot of his words weren't congruent with his thoughts and actions.
My uncle was also very rude and mean towards my mother, me and my siblings when we lived with him in my great-grandmother’s house for a few years. He was also alleged to have done some pretty repugnant things to others, that I won’t disclose.
He wasn’t a socially conscious pro-Black man as he held himself out to be went I met him. Some conscious Blacks talk the talk, but they aren’t really about that life. Maybe his abhorrent behaviors and personality were partly due to drug abuse. I am not really sure, but he was a real piece of work.
He is no longer on drugs but the last I heard, he was pretty sick and almost on his death bed at one point. I don’t associate with him because he hasn’t changed or matured much. Until this day, his children don’t have a good relationship with him because he is so difficult.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
These women are fortunate if they don’t get Toxic Shock Syndrome. This is a disease that is caused by the multiplication of Staphylococcus Aureus in the vagina and it could lead to other more serious conditions and even death, when not treated promptly. Most of the times the patient is given a course of antibiotics in order to reduce the risk of bacterial infection.
Monday, June 8, 2015
My problem lies mostly with radical feminists, who think that they are superior to men. Some of them say the craziest of things like calling for the intentional harm and killing of men. Yes, there are some evil men in this world. Afterall, I've never heard of a woman starting wars or causing mass genocides and oppression. But, to encourage the hurt of another human is really sick and hypocritical. They've also come to a point of throwing all men up under the bus. Whether, they like to admit it or not, women need men. Some the modern feminists of today are causing more strife and division between the sexes than anything else.
I also take issue with what I call "popcorn feminists", like Beyonce. She needs to go somewhere and sit down. I kind of get that they don't like being told what to do by men. I get it that they are working towards preparing women to be leaders. But, my questions are, "What are these people doing to improve relations between men and women?" "What are they doing to improve conditions for females living in third-world countries?" "What are these feminists doing to stop child sex slavery going on right in our backyard?" I can't take people seriously who come up with silly marketing campaigns like "Ban Bossy", rather than finding solid solutions for important issues that impact human rights in general.
I have read some stuff posted on the internet by radical feminists that make me question some of these people's sanity. They come across a man-haters. And some of them behave really hyper-agressive and anything but lady-like. I've seen video footage of radical feminists running up on grown men like they are G's (gangsters). They try and intimidate men by putting their hands in the men's faces, yelling obscenities and insults. They push grown men and knock shit out of their hands.
It's as if they are trying to test a fella's manhood by making him feel like a pussy or provoking him. I don't advocate violence against anyone, but they are gonna fuck with the right one. Some men won't take shit from noone, whether male or female. I don't think they should be surprised if a man were to defend himself and slap the taste out their mouthes. If they want equal treatment, then they should be prepared to be equally KO'd like a man.
Some radical feminists criticise and denounce women who choose to stay home and care for their families. Well, isn't it a couple's business how a couple decides to run their household? I believe that one of the beauties of the Feminist Movement is that it allowed for women to have more choices and protection under the law and in society. If a woman decides to forgoe marriage and childbirth to pursue her career, then that's her choice. If a woman and her husband agree that she will work outside of the home, while he stays home with the kids, then that's their choice. But, what is wrong with a woman wanting to stay home to nuture her children and support her husband? Someone's got to do it and if the couple came to a mutual agreement about what the woman's role is in the family unit then, that's their business
Sunday, June 7, 2015
I remember him as an Olympic athlete and from the cover of Wheaties cereals boxes, from my childhood. He was a handsome, masculine young man but I never would‘ve suspected that he was going through all that. He came clean while still married to his first wife, Chrystie Scott about his identity crisis in the early 1970s. She knew about it and it seems that she was supportive. In the 1980s he started taking female hormones in order to begin his transition into womanhood. Then, he stopped because he didn’t want to cause harm to his young children. I think his crisis caused him to not be such a good parent to his older children. He wasn’t as active and present in their lives as he should have been.
I don’t watch the Keeping up with the Kardashians show very often. But, I could kind of tell that something was up with Bruce long before he made his announcement. He started to look and act differently a few years ago and some of the family’s holiday photos were very telling. There was one image that really struck me, where Bruce was trapped inside a glass case and I thought that was very symbolic.
My thing is this: I respect him as a human being. I don’t condone people hating, harassing or harming transgender people. For the most part, I believe in live and let live. To keep it 100, no matter how many surgeries he has to make his transition to becoming a female- He is still genetically a male. Even if he has surgery to remove his testicles and penis, he still has the XY chromosome. He will still need to take hormones for the rest of his life to suppress his male hormones.
Just like he has a right to do what he wants with his life, I have a right to form my own perceptions and opinions. I do not recognize him as a female. I don’t think that people should be forced to agree or accept this. And, people shouldn’t be labeled as "transphobic" just because they can’t wrap their minds around this. I have been reading comments on news articles and social media. There’s a lot of people flipping the script by trolling and bullying the folks who don’t understand or accept this as their reality. And that’s wrong.
Even though I think that it is bizarre and confusing, I can’t relate to how this man must think or feel. I have no right to tell someone what to do with their own body. I am not a psychiatrist or physician but I think that there may be something off kilter or off-balance with the biochemistry in his blood and nervous system.
It is difficult for anyone to ever ascertain what he’s going through emotionally, physically and mentally. There were some reports that he suffered from depression for a long time. Harboring a secret of such magnitude would eat away at anyone’s psyche. I suspect that he was forcing himself to conform to societal norms and please others.
At the same time, I think that his decision was somewhat selfish. This is a man who was married to 2 or 3 women and has fathered many children. I wonder if he really took enough time to think about how his transition would impact the lives of his children and his ex-wives? If he knew that he was going through such as crisis, then why did he decide to bring these women into his life? I am not on that Kardashian bandwagon but those children and the wives are all going to need some counseling to come to grips with his decision.
Bruce Jenner is going to make lots of money off of his journey to becoming a woman. Prior to announcing his intention to undergo transgender sexual reassignment surgery, this man was making around $25,000 per speaking engagement. Now, he commands around $100,000 per speaking engagement. He gained millions of followers in social media within a few days. The last time I checked he has over 2 million followers on Twitter. He will also be starring in his own documentary show on E. By now most people have seen him come out as Caitlyn on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine. So, he’s been receiving much media coverage.