FTC Disclosure:

I am not paid or compensated in any way to write product reviews posted to this blog. There are affiliate links posted throughout this blog. So, when you click through on links and buy something, I may receive a commission. I pay for the products with my own funds. Product reviews always reflect my own experience with and honest opinion of the product as a consumer.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Old Farts and Sexual Harassment

This woman that I worked with came to me with a very pressing issue, called workplace sexual harassment.  She needed some advice on how to deal with a male co-worker whom she alleged was sexually harassing her.   I will call the male co-worker Dennis (not his real name) for the sake of simplicity.  He is roughly 15-20 years older than her, and he is a Black man from the Caribbean.  I was shocked by Dennis, since he is actually a very cordial person and he never gave me any indication that he would do that.  The woman, whom I will call Martha (not her real name), is a White woman and she originates from the Midwestern United States.   

She told me that Dennis got a hold of her cellphone number and constantly called her and sent text messages.  She didn’t answer the text messages or his phone calls.  He would also leave voice mail messages suggesting that they go out on dates or meet somewhere.   Martha became disgusted with his constant pestering and told Dennis that she was not interested in dating him or meeting with him outside of work.   However, Dennis didn’t seem to get the message.  He continued to pressure her for dates and even hinted that he wanted sexual relations with Martha.

Not that Martha is to blame for this situation, but part of the problem may lie in her personality and how she deals with conflicts. Now, Martha is a very nice, reserved, and easy-going person.  She tries to avoid conflicts with others and is even somewhat of a people pleaser.   Martha rejected Dennis, but I have a feeling that she was rather wishy-washy with him.  The other part of the equation is that Dennis is apparently a desperate, horny, old, dusting farting geezer, who didn't want to accept "No" as his final answer. 

Having experienced sexual harassment firsthand, I understood what Martha was going through.  My advice to Martha was that she toughen up on Dennis and become a total bitch.  If I were in the same predicament, I would not talk to him.  Nor, would I continue to smile or joke around with a person like that.  Anyone who carries on in this manner, and who doesn’t accept “No” for answer, isn’t worthy of my respect or time. In spite of the fact that she was being sexually harassed by Dennis, Martha continued to have lunch with him and other co-workers!  It just didn’t make sense to me.

Some of you may not agree with this approach, but I have found that it has worked like a charm for me over the years.  Some people just don’t comprehend polite “No’s” or diplomacy.  The only time that it occurs to these types of people that they should back off, is when they are put in a position of feeling threatened.  If you hurt their feelings by letting them know what an A-hole they are, more often than not, they will leave you alone. If you make it clear to these people that you won’t tolerate harassment and help them to understand the potential threat of job loss, they will leave you alone. 

There was this instance where another male co-worker was sexually harassing me.  Even after telling this man “No” and  “I am not interested”, he still persisted with the sexual advances.  This is the straw that broke the camel’s back:  One day a friend of this man, told me that someone wanted to speak with me inside of a room at the workplace.  He didn’t reveal the identity of the person waiting in the room.  The man’s friend followed me into the room.

When I entered the room, I discovered that the man who had been sexually harassing me was waiting.  I suppose that he was looking for the opportunity to make an appeal to me.  Well, I didn’t give him the opportunity to speak.  I immediately told him in a very stern manner, “Look here, I don’t want to date you.  I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want to marry you.  And, I don’t want to fuck you.  LEAVE ME ALONE.” 

The man stood there astounded and speechless.  His friend stood to the side with a smirk on his face and gloating.  After that explosive outburst, I didn’t have any further problems with this man.  As I said before, this is the approach that I use when all else fails.  This is because I prefer to try and resolve problems directly with the other party, before escalating things to the next level.  Also, I don’t like the idea of having my name on the record, or in a file somewhere connected to a sexual harassment complaint.

Most companies in the United States take the issue of sexual harassment very serious.  The larger companies provide training to new employees at orientation in order to educate them.  Sometimes people blatantly sexually harass their co-workers or subordinates, like in the case of “quid pro quo”.  Some people are guilty of sexual harassment without even knowing it.  This could be due to cultural and social misunderstandings. Therefore, companies will provide education and training on this matter, in order to help prevent it and avoid costly sexual harassment lawsuits.  Most of the time, a person who is rightfully accused of workplace sexual harassment will either, be severely reprimanded or terminated. 

Martha was at her wits end and had reached a point where she was ready to go ahead and report Dennis.  I never mentioned her problems to Dennis or anyone else, because I didn’t feel that it was my place to do so.  Oddly enough, she had even asked me a few weeks later if I said anything to Dennis about the fiasco.  Of course, I reassured her that her secret was safe with me and that Dennis had not approached me regarding the issue.  While I would handle the situation differently, I still support Martha if she ever decides to file a formal sexual harassment complaint against Dennis.  

© Copyright 2014 Susan Broadbelt

No comments:

Post a Comment

This blog is moderated. Please do not spam this blog. Any comments that include promotional links will be deleted. Thanks.


2013MTV Video Music Awards (1) 3G network (2) 401k (1) 4G network (2) advertisements (1) Air Wick Freshmatic Ultra Odor Detect Spray kit (1) Alberto VO5 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner (1) Android (1) anti-aging skin care products (1) antioxidants (1) Aquaphor Healing Ointment (1) ATand T Flash mob commercial (1) Autozone (2) Aveeno active naturals 1% Hydrocortisone Anti-Itch cream (1) baby wipes (1) bad boss (1) bad job interviews (1) badmouthing (1) balance transfer (1) Bank of America (1) Bank of America $410 million lawsuit (1) Bank of America overdraft class action lawsuit 2011 (1) Bank of America scam (1) bargain shopping (17) Bayer Contour USB Blood Glucose Meter (1) beggars (1) Bic Soleil Bella razors (1) Biore pore unclogging scrub (1) Blendtec comparison (1) Blueberries (1) braids and weaves (1) Breville Juice Fountain Compact BJE200XL (1) buying habits (1) buying stuff off the streets (1) Caitlyn Bruce Jenner (1) call center (1) Car buying (1) car maintenance (1) Car salesman (1) Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra Tea (1) cell phone (1) child abuse (1) Christian hypocrisy (1) collection agency (1) college debt (4) colon cleanser (1) complaining about your job (1) compression stockings (2) compression therapy (2) consumer credit counseling service (1) corporate corruption (1) corporate lobbyists (1) Cosmetic Surgery (1) count your blessings (1) coupon basics (1) coupons (21) credit card (1) credit card debt (1) Creme of Nature Replenishing Sheen Spray with Argan Oil from Morocco (1) CSR job (1) customer service (4) Customer service representative (1) cutting your grocery bill with coupons (2) CVS (16) CVs 100% Organic Cotton Tote Bag (1) CVS ExtraCare Rewards Program (16) CVS Green Bag Tag (2) Dax Pomade (1) dead snake in the grass (1) dealing with cockroach infestation (1) debit card fee (1) debt (1) debt collection (1) Debt Collectors (1) debt consolidation (1) debt consolidation loan (1) debt settlement (1) difficult people (1) Digital Coin Counter (1) distracted driving bicycling and walking (1) doctor (1) Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform (1) Dove Damage Therapy Intensive Repair Conditioner (1) Dove Damage Therapy Intensive Repair Shampoo (1) Dr. Scholl's Advanced Comfort shoes (1) Dr. Scholl's gel insoles (1) dumb spending habits (1) Durbin Amendment (1) education (1) Effects of Type II Diabetes and High Blood Pressure on the Kidneys (1) emotional baggage and trauma (1) employment (4) employment issues (5) Extra strength Benadryl Itch Stopping Cream (1) Extrabucks (4) Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (1) Family and money (1) family disputes over money and property (1) fast food (3) Federal Income tax returns (2) Femininst Movement (1) Ferguson (1) fibroids (1) fiscal cliff (1) fishing pier (1) Florida (1) Florida beaches (1) Florida living (1) Florida tourism (1) Florida travel (1) food allergies (1) foot pain (1) free coupons (1) FTC (1) Futuro Energizing Ultra Sheer Knee Highs for Women (1) Games that Men Play (1) garnish wages (1) get fired (1) get free coupons in the mail (1) Ghetto people (2) Gillette Daisy Razors classic (1) Gillette Venus and Olay Razor (1) Going natural (1) Google (1) gratitude (1) hair care (4) harassing bill collectors (1) harassing phone calls (1) harassment by bill collectors (1) health benefits (1) health benefits of juicing (1) Healthcare system (1) higher education (4) higher taxes (1) home equity loan (1) homelessness (1) Hot Shot MaxAttrax Roach Killing Powder with boric acid (1) hotels (1) hotels.com (1) How to deal with a cheating spouse (1) How to Keep Your customer service job (1) Huggies Natural Care Thick N Clean (1) hurting feet (1) illegal debt collection (1) Individual Retirement Account (1) interest rate (1) internet (2) Interracial dating and relationships (1) IRA (1) Is the Ninja blender any good? (1) Iyanla Fix My Life (1) Iyanla Vanzant (1) job interview (1) Johnson and Johnson (1) junk food (2) knowledge (1) L'Oreal Youth Code (1) La Quinta Inn and Suites (1) lactose intolerance (1) Lady Speed Stick Invisible Dry deodorant (1) lawsuit (1) learning (1) lending money to family (1) let go of toxic people (3) LG Optimus V Android Smartphone (1) lingere (1) local calling (1) Lysol Disinfectant Spray (1) make money online (1) manipulators (1) mass transit (1) McDonald's McCafe Stawberry Banana Smoothie (2) medical (1) Metro PCS (1) Miley Cyrus (1) mindset (1) MO (1) money (1) Money Saving Jar (1) muscle soreness (1) Myoflex Odorless Pain Relief Ointment (1) Natural hair care (2) natural treatment fibroids (1) natural ways to shrink fibroids (1) Nature's Secret Ultimate Cleanse (1) never miss a golden opportunity to shut up (1) New Balance Walking shoes (1) New Thought movement (1) Ninja NJ600 Bender (1) Ninja Professional Blender NJ600 (1) Nivea Kiss of Flavor Cherry Tinted Lip Care (1) Novatel Ovation MC760 USB Modem (1) Nutella Hazelnut spread with cocoa and skim milk (1) nutrition (1) Occupy Wall Street (1) online paid surveys (1) Organix (1) Organix hydating Moroccan Argan Oil Creamy Oil Body Wash (1) overdraft fees (1) OWS (1) pain relief (1) Panhandlers (1) panties (1) passenger trains (1) pay negotiation (1) paying for college (2) payroll taxes (1) pest control (1) plastic surgery (1) polyphenols (1) Pompano Beach (1) poverty (1) problems with the church (2) Product Reviews (46) Prosperity Gospel (2) Prosperity Pimp Preachers (1) protests (1) Pterostilbene (1) Public schools need improvement (2) public transportation (1) Publix (1) Purpose Gentle Cleansing Wash (1) Rachel Dolezal and transracialism (1) Raid Max Bug Barrier with Auto Trigger (1) random (1) Ratchet behaviors (1) Reality TV (1) Register Rewards (1) relationships and dating (1) religion and Christianity (2) respect for patients (1) retinol (1) retirement (1) Review of Aveeno Active Naturals Skin Relief Calming Lotion with Cooling Action (1) review of Cascadian Farms Organic Cinnamon Raisin Granola Cereal (1) Review of Dawn Hand Renewal with Olay Beauty (1) Review of Gain Ultra Antibacterial Hand Soap/Dishwashing Liquid (1) Review of Kashi TLC Chewy Granola Bars (1) Review of Lever 2000 bar soap (1) Review of Monster Energy drink (1) review of Special K Protein shakes (1) Review of Suave Advanced Therapy Body Lotion (1) Review of Toshiba Satellite laptop L505-ES5018 (1) review of Virgin Mobile Broadband2Go (1) roach infestation (1) roaches (1) Robin Thicke (1) Roc Retinol (1) Roc Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum (1) Roc Retinol Correxion Sensitve Eye Cream (1) sabotage in the workplace (2) Sandra Bland (1) saving money (16) saving on groceries (1) scam artists (1) scams (1) Sears (1) sexual harassment (1) shopping (16) shopping haul (16) skin care (6) skincare (2) smartphone (1) smoothies (1) So Delicious coconut milk unsweetened (1) social media (1) Social Security (1) SoftSheen Carson Sta-Sof-Fro Hair and Scalp Spray (1) spider veins (2) squandered legacy (1) Stank of America (2) stolen property (1) student loan (3) student loan default (1) stupid people (2) submission in relationships (1) surgeon (1) T-Mobile (1) Taco Bell Frutista Freeze (1) technology (1) telephone sales (1) the dangers of milk and eggs (1) The Law of Attraction (1) The Secret (1) The shooting death of Mike Brown (1) the value of a college education (1) TLC Extreme Couponing show (1) Tom's of Maine Long Lasting Deodorant (1) toxic people (4) toxic relationships (1) Traction Alopecia from wigs (1) trains (1) transgender issues (1) transitioning to natural hair (1) travel arrangements (1) travel booking (1) Tri-Rail (1) TV commercials (1) U by Kotex (2) U by Kotex Clean Wear Heavy Flow Pads (1) U.S. Department of Educastion (1) underwear (1) varicose veins (2) vicarious liability (1) Victoria's Secret (1) Victoria's Secret sale (1) Virgin Mobile TopUp Card (1) Virgin Mobile Wireless (1) virtual dating and courtship (3) Vitamix comparison (1) Walgreens haul (1) Walmart (2) wasteful spending (1) wasting income tax return money (2) wasting money (2) ways to earn money online (1) ways to make money (1) ways to make money when you don't have a job (1) wealth (1) Wells Fargo (1) what are coupons (1) What is ghetto? (2) Wheat thins (1) Wheat thins commercial (1) Where to buy Ninja blender? (1) where to find coupons (1) White male dominated establishment (2) why are people so mean to children? (1) Why do women forget they are wearing a tampon? (1) Why I Don't Go to Church (4) Why you should not allow others to drive your car (1) Wild Growth Hair Oil (1) Winn-Dixie (1) wireless service (2) Women's rights (1) workplace assholes (2) Workplace racism (1) workplace sexual harassment (1) X Factor (1)