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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Why are people so stupid? Part one: The Robbery

The longer that I live, the more I encounter some really stupid people and find myself in some unpredictable and bizarre situations. 

In the early 1990s, I worked my way through high school and the first few years of college as a cashier at a grocery store chain.  The first week on the job was like baptism by fire.  From the first day, some really strange things happened, which continued to happen throughout my nearly six years of working for the company.  Until this day, I don’t know why I didn’t quit after that first week of working there.  I could actually write a book about my many weird experiences and the antics of employees and customers.

Anywho… The first strange thing that happened there was that I went into the women’s restroom on a break to wash my hands.  To my surprise, there was a long, fat turd on display there in the bathroom sink.  I guess, the culprit had a sick penchant for the more repulsive aspects of life.

I dashed out of the restroom to notify the manager.  He glared at me in disbelief saying “In the women’s restroom?” He continued to stare at me with those beady eyes, as if he were silently calculating the probability that I was the assailant in that detestable crime.  Before he could ask, I told him that I didn’t do it.  He ordered one of the bag boys to clean up the mess.  The bag boy looked at me and the manager in utter disgust.

The Robbery

Another strange twist of events occurred just a few days later.  It was about 5 minutes before closing time and I signed off my cash register to put unwanted merchandise back on the store shelves. As I was walking along the end of one aisle, I saw a couple of masked men run into the store.  I thought that it was a joke until one of the men pointed a gun at a clerk.  I was like, “Oh shiznit.  We’re being robbed!”.

I ducked down behind a huge display of stacked up canned goods.  A few minutes later the bookkeeper, Anna (not her real name) began to call out to me and other employees over the intercom system. She announced, without any explanation, that we should come to the front of the store.  Some of the employees walked up there, not knowing what was happening.  Not me.  I had a good view of what was going on from my vantage point.  Some of the other employees who had gotten wind of what happened even hid in the walk in freezer.

The crazy part is that Anna continued to call me to come to the front of the store. I became very angry and agitated at her, because she was trying to blow my cover.  I am surprised that the robbers didn’t murk her ass for sounding like a broken record.  I arrived at two conclusions as to why she kept calling my name:  A) She didn’t like me.  B) She wanted to take as many people as possible with her, if she were to die.

I saw them pointing the gun to her head and at the assistant store manager.  He committed the cardinal sin:  He opened the safe.   The poor guy and the manager who trained him both lost their jobs because of this.  The company policy stated that they weren’t to open the safe.  Stupid rule if you asked me, but that’s on another topic.

The whole thing went down in less than 10 minutes.  The crooks got away with over $25,000 dollars in cash, some goodies, and a couple of desktop calculators (I could see how those come in handy with all that cold hard cash).  I don’t think those guys were ever apprehended. Rumor had it, that the robberies were an inside job, since there were a string of similar robberies, with the same MO in the area.

Luckily, no one was hurt. The police arrived after the robbery, missing them by a few minutes. Anna and the manager announced over the intercom system that it was okay for the employees to come out of hiding and that the robbery was over.

Anna briskly walked up to me and had the nerve to ask in a slightly annoyed tone, “Susan, why didn’t you come to the front of the store?”  I was taken aback by the sheer idiocy of such a question.  My answer came in the form of a question posed to her:  “Anna, if the shoe were on the other foot and you were in my situation, would you have went to the front of the store?”  She didn’t know how to respond.  All she could do is stand there looking like the idiot that she is was.

© Copyright 2014 Susan Broadbelt

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