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Thursday, June 4, 2015

Why Should A Woman Submit to a Man?

Sometimes I think about and deconstruct situations from my past. Several years ago, I was on a dinner date with a man whom I was in a relationship with.  We started to talk more about our relationship.  He brought up the topic of “submission” and told me that I should let him “be the man” and that I should submit to him.  That blew me away and I thought that what he said was pretty dumb.

First, of all what in the Hell do you mean “let me the man”?  You are already a male and a man, you moron! Second, why must I submit to you?  Should women submit to their men because he has a penis and more testosterone flowing through his veins?   I don’t get it. 

I am not going to get deep down into the discussion.  But here’s what I deciphered from his message: Women can't think for and govern themselves.  Therefore, they need to be controlled.   Some of the things he said were very patriarchal and emanated from his religious beliefs. I probably would have been more receptive to his ideas if they weren’t so chauvinist. 

If he had come at me from a different angle, like, “Let me protect you”. OR “Let me take care of this for you” OR “Let’s do this thing together” I would have been all ears.  But, no! He had to come at me as if he were trying to mack.  Fuck out of here with that prehistoric cave man shit! 

Times have dramatically changed.  I am not necessarily in complete agreement with the Feminist Movement.  At the same time I don’t subscribe to some of the traditional roles of women in relationships.  In my opinion, men and women are not equal.  They are very different in the way that their brains are wired and in physiology.  Men are usually physically stronger than women.  And, women tend to be more emotional and intuitive than men.  That doesn’t make women stupid but that’s what it is.  Men don’t have menstrual cycles and they can’t get pregnant.  All this is common sense.  But, it doesn’t make one sex (or gender) better than the other. 

There are certain things that I prefer to do as a woman, like cooking over fixing and tearing things up.  I guess this comes from social conditioning. For instance, no matter how many times my father or male friends have shown me how to change a flat tire, I don’t get it.  The truth is that I am capable of understanding but I don’t want to do those things that I consider “too manly”.  I mean, I can't see myself getting up underneath a car and change oil.  If we’re to be completely honest here, there are some things that men are more adept at than women.  So, in those cases I submit what I perceive as "manly activities" to men. That’s not to say that there aren’t women capable of doing masculine things, though.


And on the flip side, there can be many benefits to a woman submitting to a man.  That’s particularly interesting when dealing with a man who has more knowledge, wisdom and understanding than his woman (topped with integrity).  He can offer some ideas that would benefit them both as a couple.  And he could probably teach her some things to make her a better person.  So, humility and open-mindedness in relationships definitely go a long way. 

Bottom line is that in relationships, there is always going to be some sort of compromise.  One party will probably have to do some things that they aren’t comfortable with in order to make their partner happy, and vice-versa.  I’m not saying go all out and be a fool for anyone, but there should be some give and take involved.  One party can’t be on the receiving end all the time. 

I see a romantic relationship like a team.  This idea of one person being in complete submission to the other is not teamwork.  That’s one party trying to relegate the other party to the status of a child.  It may be their way of getting control over the other person in order to do some manipulating.  Even more ridiculous, the man that I am talking about seemed to seek a relationship with a passive woman who won’t question or challenge anything that he says or does. He had a “Woman, I am in charge and don’t ever question or criticise anything that I say or do” type mentalities.

I’m not talking about being a nag or doing things to undermine or emasculate a man.  I’m talking about being a woman with intelligence and strong opinions.  Is there something wrong with that?  Furthermore, I have heard story after story about one partner being in full submission to the other.  The submissive allowed the wool to be pulled over their eyes and got screwed in the process. All I’m saying is why can’t both parties in a relationship learn to submit to one another? 

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